I imagine most of you who will read this, are currently military spouses, or considering being one. As the wife of a retired soldier (almost 6 years now – ya – I’m old), I am honored that many young girlfriends, fiancee’s and spouses still contact me asking for advice. Sitting where I am now, makes it a lot easier to give good advice, because I do not want anyone to make the mistakes I made (nope – not perfect). It has taken me 44 years to find balance in my life and I am hoping many of you find it much sooner than that.
Not that I have not been happy along the way, or enjoyed every second as a Milspouse, it is just that life can be very tricky. Throw the military lifestyle into any equation and it complicates things a little bit more.
As one of the original Mil-bloggers writing about life as a military spouse, it is refreshing to know how this community has grown via the internet. People have also become more candid (sometimes TMI). A spouse no longer needs to look very far to find and connect with other Milspouses through blogs or social networking.
That being said, I think I can sum everything I have learned into these 10 tips (scary huh?):
- Get your finances in order – for now, deployments, the future. Understand your finances and work together as a couple.
- Finish your education before you enter this lifestyle if you can. Not to say you can’t get education along the way, but it is much more challenging.
- Develop a strong network of positive people, locally and in cyberspace. Steer clear of toxic or negative energy type people.
- Volunteer as an enhancement to your life and for a possible career resume builders. That is not being selfish, consider your time as important and worth something. Never be unhappy in a volunteer position or let it consume your life.
- Write down personal goals for yourself for now and the future. These do not include your significant other, this is about you, your career, your future.
- Never forget YOU along the way with your busy life. Make time for you. If it is a deployment, do not feel guilty about getting a sitter and going to a spa or enjoying your life.
- When you are unhappy about something, change it!
- Take advantage of ALL the military has to offer YOU; education, travel, discounts etc.
- Deployment stress (pre, during and post) is normal for both of you. Everyone experiences it, so work through it together.
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Consider adding: If things aren’t going well, don’t blame your spouse, the Military, or some war from “taking you from your home/career” or lamenting what you “gave up”. If you’re getting to this lifestyle with anything other than eyes wide open, leave now before it is too painful.
It certainly is not the lifestyle for everyone. It is not glamorous or easy either. But, I would not have traded my experienced for anything!
Greta recently posted..Music Monday
My favorite is: Never Forget YOU! How easy it is.
Becky recently posted..What makes a Great Portrait?
Indeed Becky – happens to the best of us:)
Greta recently posted..MIA Korean War Soldier & Vietnam Airman Identified
I love this and agree with every word! One of the things I try to blog about as a military SO/brat AND a health coach (how many hats can I wear??) is always to be yourself and not forget who you are. It is easy to do – even without kids! But, it’s so important to remember who we are and our own hopes & dreams.
Jessica @ Deployment Divas recently posted..Care Package #1: The workout box
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